"Dark Girls" made me think of this when I saw it:
My mother was a peace and loving kinda woman. My father? Not so much. I learned early on who was going to say what when it came to their opinion as to how to deal with certain things.
I was teased a lot in school because hey...kids can be dicks. It never bothered me because well...I had other things to worry about even as a child.
I remember a particularly hateful girl going in on the regular and I was pretty much tired of her azz. I ignored her and that infuriated her and she just kept trying to get in my head. I was at the grocery store with my mother and another mom told her that her daughter had told her how the girl always talked about and teased me.
My mother's eyes narrowed imperceptively to all but me. I knew her face well and recognized when she got "tight."
The conversation ended politely and we headed home. On the way home my mother asked me about old girl carefully. She then asked about some of the things old girl said. I could tell it hurt her because a lot of it had to do with the challenges she and my father had but she looked at me and told me..."The next time she says some slick shit to you, pick up a stick and knock the shit out of her ass."
AND I WAS STUNNED.
My mother didn't curse.
And my mother wasn't the one who normally give me such advice.
I gulped.
Needless to say, I did as my mother told me to do but it wasn't with a stick. (I should have used a stick.) I came home disheveled and told her how it went down. She told me to change out of my school clothes and do my homework.
No biggie. Nothing to see here folks.
Later that night she slipped me one of her Turtles. You had to either know my mother or watch "Everybody Hates Chris" to get how monumental this was. Her words while holding it out to me? "Don't take no shit off NOBODY. EVER."
I think about that all the time as I reflect on my parent's relationship. I wonder how it was that she could be so strong to empower me so poignantly and yet...never seemed to get there herself. I'll never forget that and I'll never be the chick who takes crap off anyone and I'm so grateful for my parents instilling that in me because I've seen the opposite in others and it hurts me to my heart.
It does make me wonder...how does one get this message as an adult if it wasn't instilled in them as a child? Is it even possible? What say YOU? Did you ever have any come to Jesus messages like this from your parents? In the world we live in where schools are straight up no tolerance...how do you have these same come to Jesus conversations with your own children?