Live Blogging "Being Mary Jane"

We open with our jumpoff, Mary Jane, in a compromising position, once again, with spineless married dude. This time...her brother catches her. She's shamed immediately when she finds out that her brother knows he's married. She goes into this whole yelling ish, again, about how she deserves better and dude takes his boots off and jumps in the pool to fix the stupid pool light she bitched about.

I just want to slap her azz for melting over that stupid ish. UGH! Now she's drying him off and ish in front of a fire after HIS dumb azz jumped in the pool with his clothes on.

Let's keep in mind that this is the same dude who just broke his wife off last night/week/episode.

NOW SHE GIVES THE RING BACK?

He takes his ring...puts on his clothes...and goes back home to his wife.

SPINELESS.safety.net.

Family planning a surprise party for her brother who is straight CLOWNING.HER about this adultery nonsense. Ooooooooh...mama...straight up pulling the Elder responsibility role.

Why is Patrick out of bounds? And he's CLOWNING, CLOWNING HER!

Wait...dude is going to blackmail his sister?

"What are you doing? Just stop it." ~ Patrick

Realest shit I've heard on this show so far.

Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

Secrets, lies, perpetual attempts to quit. Denial. GET HER AZZ PATRICK! GET HER!

Girl...Patrick don't like you like that. Watch your back.

COMMERCIAL/SPELLCHECK BREAK

Why does this dude have red eyeglasses, long hair and a red lanyard?

Old girl's hair is framing her face perfectly.

This conversation is long and feels like there is no point.

So now she's in conference room with Sawyer who is not pleased she's on his show. She's a super workaholic.

I heard about this documentary about the woman who died alone. "Obscure female issues." Women stay getting beat up. It is surprising more people don't die alone. It does happen though. It does. It could happen to any one of us.

Why does Patrick want to call off the party? "Every celebration of you is not necessarily for you." Well damn. That's pretty hot. I'm saying that 5 times tomorrow. Your family went through a lot when your azz was strung out hell. TOW THE LINE!

Why didn't she contact her sister for 5 years? Man...call your people or at least talk to people who talk to your people so you know they are doing fine ya know?

Lonely girl gonna do the show. Bless her. I hope she learns something.

COMMERCIAL / SPELLCHECK / GOING CALL MY SISTER BREAK

If Mark doesn't tell that woman he's gay. Don't you just love people who make it hard to help them? Yeah...me neither. I hold a special brand of contempt for them.

I like how they have real people on the show but I'm trying to figure out why in the hell Jesse Jackson is on here???????

Jesse Jackson makes everything sound like a sermon. I wonder how people react when he's ordering a meal. Do they say...Amen?

Awwwwww...Patrick's baby mama said something nice. Are they married? I don't think so. I don't see any rings.

This woman is going to continue to work herself right on out of a family.

So Mark wants to open up now huh? Man...jobs ain't nothing to sneeze at these days. You'd better figure it out. Hell...Katie Couric still struggling to click with something.

Tell him the truth. Foreign policy is boring to lots of people. You can't do a show that bores people. The good news is...you didn't get fired.

Oops...they fired Charlie.

*HICCUP*

That was some great writing. All that she said. Yup.

This chick is moving in on turf. WHATCHA BACK mj!

Greg fired Julian at her request. Told ya...she was pissing on corners and ish snooping there being "friendly."

GIRL...YOU ARE AN ADDICT. YOU DON'T NEED NO TEST HELL!

Hey...what's dude's name from Soul Food! I miss him! I always really liked him!

Patrick really needed that $30,000 he joked with MJ about. Boy...go ask your sister hell.

DELETE!

Whatever...she's going to check her bill and get his number there. Do they still put the numbers you call on your bills? Mine is electronic and I haven't paid attention to it for years.

I KNEW IT!

She jonesing big time. And them damn post its? *sigh* Crutches. Use Pinterest like the rest of us.

Patrick gonna use some birthday money to pay for those drinks?

She's with her brother. Good.

DAMMIT! HOW'D THEY KNOW I WAS GONNA SAY JONESING? LOLOLOLOLOLOL!

COMMERCIAL / SPELLCHECK BREAK

I LOVE Jacqui Reed. I do NOT like this commercial. Remember when Joey was on the herpes billboard?

No. There are a lot of pimple popper pills going on these days. What happened to that big jar of Noxema we used to use that burned your eyes bad?

Imma need him to get some break pads. His car be squealing.

Pauletta????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

How long that fish been in the car?

She cooks like that this time of night? Lawd...I bet they got the Costco size Tums in every bathroom cabinet in the house.

Did he really scoop her booty like that? Her Uncle? OH HELLLLLLLL NOOOOOO! "Girl child ain't safe in a family fulla mens..."

My brother would have straight DROPPED.HIM.

Auntie love her some PAULETTA from way back pigtail days.

Why is that guy in draws? Who is Fred? Aunt Toni got a big heart.

Everybody needs a safe place they can go lay it all down.

These kids just broke this down huh?

I hate Hello Kitty stuff and that lil biggedy lil girl is wearing Hello Kitty. Figures.

COMMERCIAL / SPELLCHECK BREAK

Bless her lil heart. She needs her big brother. I hope this works.

Get her straight Patrick.

Patrick used to run that club. Bless him too. UGH! He is pulling out all the stops to show her what addiction can do to a life. Good dude. Don't nobody bet not say nuttin bad 'bout Patrick after this. He's stand up.

Patrick's laugh translation to the proposal news: Where they do that 'et?

Ask her for the $30k Patrick. ASK HER PATRICK. Shit.

ARGal is prolly right. Soul Food dude is going to steal his idea. UGH!

Wait...dude doesn't have a key? Hell...he musta did some Gator ish when he was on cocaine.