We take the garbage out on Monday and Thursday during the week. Recycling is organized and put out for Wednesday pickup. I use the word WE loosely here because yeah...Robby takes it out.
Jaru likes long walks. He generally gets one good long one and two micro walks. Robby gives him that good long walk because he poops a lot and I love my doggie by my poop picking up skills are never something I enjoy cultivating.
The tire indicator came on in my truck letting me know I needed air in my right back tire. *sigh*
Yesterday the coffee maker made a pot of clearish hot water. I did what Robby told me to do and was successful in getting a pot of weak coffee made. It did the same thing today and I got out the manual and did a full scale super clean on it. I'm talking I whipped out a flashlight, the vacuum cleaner, etc. and now it's darn near in a brand new state of clean. I cleaned that thing to within an inch of it's life all the time knowing I have a lot to do today but at that moment...nothing was more important than cleaning that coffee maker perfectly and I started crying because I'm tired and my favorite Uncle has left us and I have so much to do but I have to go tell him goodbye and Robby isn't here so all of my pains have gone unsoothed because he soothes me and he makes it all better. He does all the heavy lifting and I get a little too soft because he cherishes me and does all the things he knows I don't care to do. I have put out the garbage twice even though I forgot to put out the recycling and I got a guy to put the air in my tire by playing cute chick without a clue and I've been scooping up poop like a pro.
And I've made my own coffee. Nine days in a row now and counting.
And my heart hurts and I'm sad and I have regrets about not being as...I don't know...communicative as I know I could be but I hate the phone and it's easier to get me online because I don't have to talk per se but our Elders...sometimes they can't get to their computer even though when they could...they read my blog and enjoyed it and laughed and fussed at me for cussing and gave me advice and talked to the other Elders about eDress Me and worried about me still being out here giving strangers rides and such even though they've always known that I was special, their words not mine, and have always been surrounded by angels.
And now I have another guardian angel popping in checking out what's going on and he is probably sitting over my shoulder right now while I'm writing this because...he missed reading my blog.
And yeah...I'm crying because I should have done more than I ever probably would have because well...I'm my father's daughter and that will always be my most significant weakness.
I'm so hurt that during a time I should be the happiest ever based on other things going on...my favorite Elder left us before I got a chance to do the more my heart always wanted me to do. This will be my most astonishing regret in life and the thing I question WHY the most.
I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself but I've gotten soft. I don't worry about what I don't want to worry about because I always know that The Robinator has it handled. He's the man. He's MY man.
I'm truly a woman who can't live without her man. I need him to hold me and make it all better because that's the only thing that will soothe this empty burn filled with heat that is my heart right now. I just hurt all over.
*sigh*
Good morning. Sorry. I'm feeling some kinda way today.
