Rantings of a Creole Princess

October 9th: Journey Back to My Favorite Face

If you know me truly, you know that my favorite person on Earth is my husband.  He's down South heading up a program currently and I haven't seen him since mid-August but the days are counting down until I see his face again.  Until I'm wrapped in his arms again and my cheek rests on his shoulder.  Until I wake every morning to a kiss from him and his knowing and thoughtful perusal which always seems to capture what I'm feeling and what I'm thinking.

I don't know if absence has made our hearts more fonder because we love each other and are in love with each other, but I do know that absence has made us know that we're truly the other's touchstone.  I'm not even me without him.  Nobody knows me as well as he does and nobody knows how to put me back together when something triggers me into memories that threaten to pull me apart yet again.

I have the type of personality that everyone looks to when they need something.  If I'm out and about with people I tend to be the one who finalizes decisions or helps everyone make a decision.  My framily, family and friends call me when they are attempting to figure out the major things in their life and I always consider their situation thoughtfully before I offer my opinion.  People count on me to have answers or to know where they can find the answers.  They count on me to provide a safe landing for them when they are overwhelmed or need a hug or need to sit quiet or simply to have a good meal and share a bottle of wine listening to good music.

And I am able to provide that because my husband constantly provides that for me.  That love, unconditional support and loving kick in the pants when I need it.

I was talking to a framily member the other day and we were talking about marriage.  He said that whenever he tells people about the best husbands he knows, the ones he looks up to, Robby is one of the two he would love to one day be like.  He shared how we were all somewhere doing something once and that I was all the way across the room in a stressful situation and that it was like I FELT that Robby had arrived.  He said he looked up at me and my face broke out into the most joyous expression as I rushed over to meet Robby as he was rushing over to meet me.  He said he watched how we hugged each other and he knew that none of the chaos in the room was there anymore for either of us and that it was clear that each other was all we needed.  He then said that's what he wanted.  A woman who looked at him that way and that he felt the same about.

I didn't know what to say other than I prayed that he found that one day and I was struck by how he'd put into words exactly what I'm always feeling about my husband.  He is so prominent in my entire being and the world doesn't quite work the same without my being able to see his face and touch him.  I'm not the type of woman who can be without her man for long.   I'm built for partnership.  I'm built to love and be loved.  I'm built to take care of my loved one.  I'm a simple, simple woman when it comes to what I need.  It's him.  Always will be.  Just him.  I can function without him but I'm not LIVING.  

It's been a rough week on my spirit.  I ran across my family photo albums from when I was growing up and I flipped through them and got deep down into myself and The Robinator wasn't here to make it all better.  He tries over the phone and over Skype...but you and I both know they are poor substitutions for the real thing.  

The countdown to seeing my FAVORITE face is near.  October 9th is right around the corner.  I can't wait.

Stay With Me

I heard a new song the other day that was soothing.  I went to iTunes and bought the song and then really listened to the words.  

Basically the guy was having a one night stand but he was lonely.  He asked the woman he was with to hold his hand.  He didn't want her to leave and asked her to stay with him.

I can imagine it.  Dark room, bit of light coming from the moonlit night.  Blue lights rotating from where the music is coming from.  The aftermath of sans ropas.  Two people spent.  Strangers.  Seeking comfort.

Stay with me.

I wondered about the woman.  How would she feel being asked that.  Would she stay?  Would she take the risk?  Would she think it was a red flag that he asked her this when all she was seeking was a bit of release as well.

What do you think...on a scale of 1 - 10...what is the likelihood of a woman staying in this situation, knowing that she will probably end up getting hurt?

 

Real Men Don't Go Dutch

I've been binge watching "The Bernie Mac Show."  I'm telling you...that show was/is sooooooooo funny.  I loved me some Mr. Mac.

In an episode I recently watched, Jordan had a crush on a lil girl at school and they were going on their first "date" to the movies. He was all excited and told Uncle Bernie about it, who was OVER THE MOON with joy about his nephew's first "date."  He started giving Jordan all sorts of dating advice.  One of them being, "You pay for her ticket.  None of that Dutch crap.  Real men don't go Dutch."

I continued watching smiling because I agree with that.  None of that Dutch stuff.  Real men don't go Dutch and then...I kept it moving and didn't think about it again.

Then, I started thinking...at the time, Jordan was 12.  He didn't have any money.  Two tickets plus snacks at the movies is kind of expensive for adults with jobs these days so a 12 year old with a limited allowance would be hard pressed to take a girl out if he was required to pay.  Sure, Uncle Bernie could break him off some money, but Uncle Bernie was a rich celebrity.  Most kids don't have rich parents.

Very few kids have celebrity rich parents.

So...I then started wondering what I would do if a pre-teen, teenage girl I loved was going on her first "date."  Would I tell her to expect the boy to pay?  Would I tell her that "real men don't go Dutch?"  In these economic times when teenagers can't find jobs because adults are now filling those positions, is it irresponsible of me to have her thinking the boy should pay?  what if that became her non-negotiable?  Would that make her less datable in the eyes of boys/men everywhere?  

Is this part of expected chivalry dead?  Can we honestly hold on to this one without crippling dating among teens during the times they should be learning to court properly so it's not an anomaly once they become adults?  Are we perpetuating the "hook up" generation by holding on to old traditions?

What does love feel like?

Scenario: Love Killer?

I believe in true love and I always have.  I believe that love manifests in ways that make it known without a shadow of a doubt.

The quickening of your heart, the heat that rises from your chest.  You stomach flipping over and over while your pupils dilate and a heavier, hotter scent emerges from your body at the mere thought of someone.

And I also believe that love can and should be denied the opportunity to flourish.

We all have our deal-breakers.  We all know what we can and can't deal with.

Or at least we should.

Let's say that you move in with the person you love.  You move your stuff in, they move their stuff in.  You're both on the lease.  The first night in the new home, they don't come home.  You call and call but the calls go straight to voicemail.  They don't call you.  No text.  No email.  Nothing.

You get up and go to work the next day.

Nothing.

You go home and their car is there.

You go inside and they are in there unpacking their boxes or some random new house ish.

Your pulse jumps.  Your heart breathes a sigh of relief that they aren't hurt somewhere.

What is the first thing you say?  What do you do?  How in the world do you handle such disrespect from the person you love and just made a MAJOR life decision with?  What do you do?

Mr. May / Ms. December Romance

A while ago I was traveling and saw a May / December romance.  We're kinda used to these, but normally, the December is the man.  Well, this time it was Ms. December and her Mr. May.

Mr. May was handsome with a nice body.  He was dressed in nice, new clothes with a faux pas or two.  He had on very stylish jeans with super expensive sneakers, a nice shirt, a puffy, belt and suspenders.

You read that right.

His haircut was neat and he was very well groomed.  He was rocking a pair of Beats and loving every minute of the beginning of his journey.  

Ms. December was on point.  Head-to-toe on point.  Casual but stylish travel wear.  She was doing a bit of work but paying attention to her love as well.  They looked like a couple in love.

When they were boarding the plane they passed by me and I overheard Mr. May say, "I thought we were sitting up front?  My ticket said B-13.  Ms. December didn't say anything really and they continued on to the find two seats together.

I was talking to a friend about this and asking her if she'd ever be able to be in a relationship with someone where she was the more enlightened in the um..."living well" department and whether or not she thinks she'd do well in a relationship where she had to teach a young man about life.  She was of the mind that she probably couldn't because, "That shit would get tiresome quickly."

I reiterated that old boy was quite the looker and that old girl seemed pretty happy with her youngin and the friend said that it would be fun for a while but that yeah...it would get old.  She'd feel like she was raising him and that all men like that end up feeling some kinda way because you were doing better than them and are quick to forget what all you've enlightened them on and go find some younger woman to pass along that knowledge to so that they can finally feel like a real man.

Instrastin.

What do YOU think?  If you were older and more established, would you be able to have a relationship with someone young and considerably less established?  

 

 

Vow Renewal

If you ever decided to renew your vows...would you wear a formal dress or a casual one?

Engagement Date

Do you remember your engagement date?

 

Scenario adapted from real life...

Your husband goes to a club.

He's enjoying himself people watching by the bar.

An attractive woman comes up and orders drinks.

Your husband jokingly looks at her wedding ring finger and asks her why she isn't married looking the way she looks.

She says something random about not having found the right one yet, etc. while looking at his wedding ring finger. 

Your husband doesn't wear a ring.  

He told you from the beginning of your relationship that he wasn't going to.

He buys the woman's drinks and gives her his card before he leaves.

The woman he gave his card to sends him an email thanking him for being a gentleman.

He responds back by saying she should text him because it's quicker for him to respond that way.

She's not the TEXTING A DUDE RIGHT OFF THE BAT TYPE so she responds via email and straight off the bat asks if he's married so she could get that out of the way.

Ain't nobody trying to be Mary Jane'd.

He responds by saying yes he's married blah, blah, blah.

The woman ceases all communication with him because, again, she ain't a Mary Jane.

Now...if YOU were the dude's wife...did he do anything wrong?  Are you pissed if you find out about this?  Or was he simply being a nice guy?  Would you have a problem with your husband buying a woman YALL don't know and he's not trying to do some type of legitimate business with drinks?  

Instrastin!

Do you ever KNOW when you're in your own way?

RACHEL SKIFFER AND MARVIN COOTE:  A Reluctant Bride Conquers Her Fears

Go read that article.  I'll wait...

 

Doody...doody...do...

Dum...dum...dee...dum...

Okay...have you read it?  Good.  What are you thoughts?  Do you give your daughters the type of advice Ms. Skiffer's parents gave her?  Do you give your sons the type of advice Mr. Coote's parents gave him?

What do you think of the lesson she had to learn?  Do you think her parents helped her stay in her own way?  Or do you think she's a product of much more our society has turned girls into?  Women who believe the only way they can succeed is to not let a man derail their education and career plans?

In your experience...do you ever truly know when you're in your own way?

 

Are you KIND to yourself?

I was talking to some framily the other day, catching up. As always, we were going back and forth catching up on all the important things which have happened in our lives since the last time we had a catch up conversation.  The discussion turned to something about Christmas and their significant other walked into the room.  They put me on speaker phone to ask my opinion about a disagreement they were having about Christmas.  I listened feeling a bit nervous because suddenly...the light mood of the conversation changed.

Instantly.

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder?

Someone I know from FB was going to be on GMA this morning so I kept switching the channels so I could see the relationship advice he was going to give since he's one of the few advice giving men I don't roll my eyes clean out of my head behind.

The story he was giving advice on was about a woman who went on a 10 day meditation sebatical away from her family that helped her be a better wife and mother.

I can totally see that.

I then went and read her article and I saw it even more:  http://www.babble.com/relationships/i-took-a-break-from-my-husband-then-i-fell-back-in-love/

I feel like this can happen all the time in smaller doses too.  I know that when I'm traveling solo, I realize just how much I prefer being with my husband than with pretty much anyone else in the world.  That's not to say that I don't enjoy myself...but I'm always hit with how much I'm missing him or how much he would have enjoyed something, yada, yada.  I'ts kinda like why I always bring him something special back.  I start missing him big time and appreciating him and I want to bring him a little something back.  It's really odd because whenever we talk when one of us is traveling, he sounds all nonchalant and whatnot because he hates the phone, but when I get home...he's always done something really sweet that he knows I wanted him to do because he missed me and wanted to do something to make me smile too.

I like that.

What do yall think?  Do you feel like small doses of being apart helps you remember how amazing your family is too?  Sure...you might look forward to the quiet time or having the bed to yourself but honestly don't you feel better knowing it's temporary?

PROOF! A woman can make you miserable!

Those in marriages in which the wives calmed down quickly during an argument were found to be the happiest. What’s more, those same marriages were shown to be happiest in the long run too.

Fellas...keep your ack right on!

Wives Are in Control When It Comes to Marital Happiness

What say YOU?

Question...

How did you choose your wedding date?

"Marriage Isn't For You" by Seth Adams Smith

I read this article last week and it made me smile.  It was sweet and lovely and made me reach out and rub my husband's shoulders.  The general gist of the article was that marriage is about making your spouse happy and in turn...your spouse will want to make you happy and yall will be happy together.

I agree with that.  Marriage Isn't For You

Dear Married Folks:

Is the metal on your spouse's wedding jewelry the same as the metal used on yours?

UPDATED: Not Wifeish?

I was watching an episode of "King of Queens" recently and Doug and Carrie had an argument.  See...Doug was volunteering at the church to protect the Nativity scene from vandals and another husband was out there doing the same.  The wife of the other husband noted it got colder and brought her husband a heavy coat and some hot soup.  Doug was all like...um...yeah...well...my wife is probably on her way.

Question...

Do the people you love KNOW you love them?

Ring Back? Think Again Sucka!

I know a woman who did not give the ring back.  

It's in her jewelry box and she never, ever thinks about it.

The ex asked for it back a couple of times.

She ignored him and kept it moving.

There was no money spent on deposits, etc.  

It was a joint decision.

Should she have given the ring back?

 

Black / White Marriage

A Black woman told me that White people get married for the first time in their 20s and Black people don't get married until their 30s and beyond.  She said it started being this way after our parents' generation.

Blanket statement I know.

She'd annoyed me earlier so I was being argumentative with her.

I've thought about it since then and discussed it with some of my family and framily.

Their opinion varied.

What do YOU think?  Do you think for the most part it's true?  Think about the Black and White married couples you know.  Did they get married in their 20s, 30s or beyond?

 

 

Fixed Term Marriage Contracts

If all couples knew that five years after they marry they will be having discussions regarding the first five years of their marriage, it may encourage both to be a little more patient, more understanding, love more and argue less.

Should there be a more radical change of the marriage vows, should they be more realistic?

Helen Goltz believes so, and because of her belief she has written a discussion paper on the current marriage license laws in Australia and on Fixed Term Marriage Contracts.

This discussion paper in based on the future of marriage licenses in Australia and also the abolition of such licenses in place of a fixed-term marriage contract of five and ten years with an option after this period of time. If both parties agree, and upon a successful ten-year marriage term, the couple can elect to have an ‘eternity’ contract.

Helen Goltz goes into greater detail of explaining exactly why this is essential and how the fixed-term marriage contract will be integrated within our lives. The details can be found on the internet under Fixed Term Marriage Contracts, if you wish to read it in its entirety, and it’s definitely a ‘must read.’ 

It makes perfect sense and little did I know when this idea dawned on me years ago that someone somewhere was actually doing something about it and started the ball rolling by doing this study and writing this discussion paper.

What say YOU?

Fart Policy

What's your fart policy with your S/O and kids?  Are you okay if they fart around you and simply say excuse me?  Do you expect them to at least TRY and get out of your smelling range?

What about farting in bed?  You good?

Happily Married

Last week, a young lady described my blog as a place for happily married women and their single friends with sense.

That made me smile because that pretty much sums it up over here.  

The young lady is in a relationship and hoping it leads to marriage.  She says it probably will.  I told her that as long as things were going well...don't worry about the pace.  If they are good to EACH OTHER...it will progress naturally.  That sounds simple to some folks looking for a formula but that's what I believe.

Then...she shared with me that he has never really seen a successful marriage and she worries about that.

My question to you...do you think that's a factor?  

I put myself into this situation and thunk on it.  My parents?  Um...yeah...they shouldn't have been together from jump.  Seriously.  I saw (what I thought back then) successful marriages but I've since been privy to adult information that made me think I wouldn't have put up with that ish either.

I know women who have amazing husbands who are the products of single mothers and I know men who have amazing wives who are the products of single mothers too.  Hell...I know people from complete foster childhoods who are awesomely amazing mates.

I know I knew what I wanted and what I couldn't deal with for a lifetime.  I hated my father's BECAUSE-I-SAID-SO approach to life as a family man and well...yall know about the other stuff where I WISH A FOOL WOULD!

The most important feature I think is a factor in having a successful marriage is respect.  If a man, or woman, understands respect...they pretty much have it, in my opinion.

What about you?  Do you think never seeing a successful marriage is a factor?

 

SIP:  They didn't have tv?  They didn't watch Clair and Cliff like the rest of us?

 

Question...

With what you know about yourself and about love...how long do you think it takes you before you believe you're in love?

Dear Ladies:

Have you ever dated a man you believed was jealous of you?  Not jealous of men trying to holla...but jealous of your life, parents, career, etc.  How did it end?

o_0

The Opt-Out Generation Wants Back In

I found this article long and annoying but couldn't put my finger on exactly why.  Then...I read the comments and they gave me LIFE!   LOL!

What say YOU?

Dear Women:

Do you pay attention to and police what your S/O eats or do you let him eat whatever he wants to eat and not say a word?

How to Build a Lasting Relationship!

Loyalty Weiner

How much loyalty is too much?  Is standing by your man at all costs loyalty?  Is leaving a marriage being disloyal?  IN YOUR OPINION?

Question...

What was the nail in the coffin FOR YOU, the last time you broke up with someone? You know...the last darn straw that told you it was over and you needed to accept that it was over.

How long do you date without marriage?

What's the longest you dated someone without getting married to them?  How old were you when you started dating them?

More Convos about "Being Mary Jane"

I know plenty of women who are single and honestly...there is no rhyme or reason about it.  They are smart, successful, good people, kind hearted, lovely, loving.

They know how to cook and keep house.  They are fashionable.  They are God-fearing.

They belong to clubs, sororities and civic organizations.

They run, swim, bike, compete in marathons, triathlons, half marathons, 10k's, 5k's, etc.

They are well read, know their politics, are excellent mothers, aunts and Godmothers.

They mentor and volunteer.

They can go to the White House or to a barbecue and represent excellently.

They are good daughters, sisters, friends.

There is no reason they aren't married but other women are.  No reason at all.

I've decided it's basically the luck of the draw.  If a woman is lucky, she will meet a man when he's ready for marriage.  If she's smart...she'll live a good, fulfilled happy life and she won't base her not being in the right place at the right time on nothing more than dumb luck.  She'll realize she hasn't done a thing wrong.  It's simply the luck of the draw.

You can run across plenty of good men but if he's not ready...well...it's just like  you never met him at all.  

And it's not your fault.  You didn't do anything wrong.  It's honestly, more increasingly, simply...the luck of the draw.  

Be encouraged.

Conversations about "Being Mary Jane"

I have had a lot of conversations about "Being Mary Jane" since it aired.  Well...not about the actual movie per se (even though that's how the conversations started) but about how women saw themselves in the situations Mary Jane presented.

ONe of the main conversations was about the married woman part.  I was having lunch with two married women and one single woman.  The movie came up and the inevitable question was raised.  

"What would you do if a woman told you she was sleeping with your husband and you knew she was telling the truth?"

One married woman slapped the table and crossed her leg while saying, "I ain't never leaving that man!"  And I blinked. We all looked at her like...WHOA and the questions started pouring out:

Raphael Saadiq & D'Angelo: "You Should Be Here"

I'm on my way to the airport to pick up my husband who has been gone since Thursday golfing with his father for Father's Day.

It should come as no surprise that I've missed him like crazy and always find myself appreciating him in his absence even more than normal.  It's like...I don't even realize how much I require him to be close enough to know I'll see him at the end of the day until one of us is traveling.

My anticipation at seeing his face has me grinning from ear-to-ear already.  I combed my hair and put on something cute even though it's Monday, my off day, and I'm not going anywhere nor am I even getting out of the car other than to move to the passenger seat.  I'm not putting on lipgloss because when I kiss him...I don't want to leave any on him because I know he hates that.  LOL!

There is something about this level of security and cherishing I wish everyone knew and I look forward to the day when more of the people I love have found someone to love as much as I love him and he loves me.  I have many family, framily and friends blessed with this same type of love and I'm so happy that, in my world, it's not an anomaly to see good men BEING good men.  Good sons, good brothers, good husbands, good fathers, good friends, good employers and employees.

So many in my life have lead by example and I'm so blessed my expectations matched up with my reality.

I wish you love and I hope those of you who have it recognize your blessing and focus on reciprocating and creating a happy, loving home.  Now bye...I'm going get my BOOSCHNICKA CUZ I MISSED HIM SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So...what WOULD you walk out on?

Friday we discussed a dating scenario and many people said they wouldn't have left after the date was, in my opinion, disrespectful.  I disagreed because well...I have bad nerves and have a low-low tolerance for ridiculous.  My stance on dating, when I dated was that I would enjoy myself more at peace on my sofa with my remote rather than dealing with silly ish.

And I meant that.

Open Marriages and Dating

Do you think a couple who has agreed to have an open marriage, would have difficulty finding people to date?

No longer attracted to your spouse?

If someone is no longer attracted to their spouse...is it THEIR fault...or the fault of the spouse?

For instance...

Say a couple gained weight together and then...one day the wife decided enough is enough.  

She started cooking healthier, working out and generally making better choices.  She cooked the same foods for her husband, but he chose to eat outside of the home because he didn't like all that "healthy crap."  She started getting up at 4:30am to workout at home because they have children and each have full time jobs.

She feels like if she can do it...then so should he have been able to.

Years later...she's no longer attracted to him.  

At all.

Is it her fault?

Or is it his?

What...IN YOUR OPINION...could a couple like this do in order to get back on the good foot with each other.  Does she have to lower HER standards or does he have to raise HIS standards for himself?

Would you feel differently if the situation was swapped and HE was the one no longer attracted to her for the same reasons?

What do you think about THIS advice?  Relationship Problems: I'm Not Attracted to My Husband

Who Keeps the Car?

An older woman meets a younger man.

They start dating.

He has not so great credit so he doesn't have a car but lives in a city where that isn't a problem.

She decides he should have a car and buys one IN HER NAME and gives him the keys.

It's a modest car.  Nothing fancy...but it's nice.

Who Keeps the Ring?

A multi-millionaire dates a woman and they get engaged.

He buys her an engagement ring worth $785k.

They are engaged for less than a year.

He says SHE broke off the engagement.

She says THEY mutually broke off the engagement.

He wants his ring back.

What's YOUR opinion of who should get the ring when an engagement is broken?

Mario Williams Signs $100M Football Contract, but Sues Over $785K Engagement Ring

 

Dating a Gay Man

How would you feel if you found out FOUR YEARS LATER ...that a man you were in an exclusive relationship with (engaged)...has now told THE WORLD he's gay?

Would you feel betrayed?  Used?  Angry?

Or would you simply be glad you didn't find out after you were married and had kids?

 

JASON COLLINS' EX-FIANCEE
I Had NO IDEA He Was Gay

Read more: http://www.tmz.com/2013/04/30/jason-collins-carolyn-moos-fiancee-gay/#ixzz2Rxl0QBbk 
Visit the TMZ Store: http://tmzstore.com

From My Inbox:

Hi there,

As a caboose on the train of thought on the 'separated boyfriend' post:

Separated Boyfriend Went Back to Wife

Every now and then I have a marathon conversation with one of my good friends.  We catch up what's going on with the other discuss all sorts of stuff.

The conversations can last more than an hour cuz really...we try and pack it all in.

A couple of years ago she dropped the bomb that this woman, who we always knew of as EXTREMELY smart, was dating a married man.  It wasn't normal married mind you...it was a full separation.  Dude had moved out, got a new place, was openly dating, etc.

Marriage Talk...Serious only should apply?

I was talking to someone who is dating someone new.

All of two weeks.

She's pretty happy with the way things are going and thinks that, SHOULD THEY GET MARRIED, they'd be happy together.

SIP:  AAAARRRRRUUUUUUU?????

She told me of a situation which came up and he told her that, SHOULD THEY GET MARRIED, that situation wouldn't go down like that.

SIP:  AAAAAARRRRRRUUUU????

She also shared that, SHOULD THEY GET MARRIED, some other things about him would have to change.

SIP:  AAAAARRRRRRUUUU????

Back when I was dating, I always felt weird when a new guy came out the gate talking about marriage all willy nilly.  To me...marriage talk should only be held between two people who know each other MUCH better.  I'd feel like a dude was using the marriage talk as a ploy.  Some kinda bait.  A piece of the game they were playing.  

In my experience...you may have only discussed marriage lightly as in, "Do you see yourself married one day?"  Or..."How long have your parents been married?"  

Not as in..."If we get married...blah, blah, blah."

How do YOU feel about marriage talk early on like that?  Are you FOR or AGAINST it?  Does it weird you out a bit?  Have you ever felt like a guy was using marriage as "bait?"

 

Exting - Texting with the Ex

I've had my current cellphone number for probably 11 years I think.  Before that...I'd had the same cellphone number for as long as I'd been with my previous carrier down South.  

It's very odd to find people changing their cell numbers these days unless they make a major move.  It's become commonplace to keep that same number for years and years and years.

A girlfriend and I were out and about recently and she got a text message out the blue from her ex-boyfriend.  She looked down and laughed and texted him back.  Turns out every few months or so...he texts her out the blue and she responds according to the mood she's in.

She then told me that she has a couple of exes who do this.  She doesn't mind communicating with them via text sometimes.  They were good guys...not just the guy for her.

Instrastin...

What say you?  Is exting something you do from time to time?  Would you?  SHOULD YOU? When should it cease?

Unhappily Single

A 44 year old woman told me that she doesn't want to still be single by the time she's 45 years old.

I didn't say much because there kinda wasn't really much I could say right?

But I thought a lot about it.

She's been single for 44 years so there is a good chance that she'll still be single in a year right?  It concerns me that she's actually setting this up as a goal because I think this being a goal might open the door for their to be some moves based on reaching the goal ONLY and not because she's met someone that is good to and for her.

And that concerns me because hell...yall know I love love and want everyone to have it.

What are YOUR thoughts?

While looking for a picture for this post...I ran across this:  Single At 45: What Lies Ahead?

Marriage Go-Getters

I was just asked this question:

Do you think a marriage will survive if the career go-getter in the marriage is the woman and the man is lazy but arrogant?

Scenario from Television...

You and your husband have decided to eat takeout for dinner.

He picks it up on his way home from work.

You have the table set ready for the food.

He puts the food on the table and goes to wash his hands.

You start pulling the food out and notice that your order isn't in the bag.

His order is.

You tell him and he's like...dammit...I can't believe they didn't put all the stuff in the bag.

He then sits down like he's about to eat.

You're like...say bruh...

He's like...I wanna eat mine before it gets cold and then I'll go get yours.

You good?

How would this end at YOUR house?

Dear Single Adults:

Do you find dating difficult?  Is it easy for you to meet someone?  If it's easy for you to meet someone...is it difficult to date the people you meet?  If so...why?

WHAT'S SO HARD ABOUT DATING????????????

What say YOU?