...I'm devastated all over again.
Someone recently apologized for some insensitive remarks they made about being with a woman who can't have children. Because of the circumstances by which we were meeting...I didn't say a word and kept grinding out what we were there for.
Turns out the person is dating a woman who "knows" me via this blog. (Funny how that works out huh?) The woman he is dating is a lovely woman who is in her mid-30s and is, understandably, concerned about her ability to conceive once she starts trying.
She took the things he said to heart apparently and had a talk with him.
The next time I saw him he was feeling some kinda way and pulled me to the side to apologize. It just so happens it was on a day when my Midol week was starting up and it had taken all of me to get past that and on to what I was there to do.
I didn't say anything because I didn't trust myself to because, as you guys know, I can snap crazy with the best of them and I didn't want to damage the professional relationship.
So I gave him the stank eye and the boot mouth and kept it moving.
He felt like shit from his mannerisms.
As these things go in my life, I needed some downtime and went for a quiet stroll. I ended up on the bottom level of this place in the bathroom and overheard a conversation between two women. Apparently they didn't know each other and one of them was the mother of two adorable twins. The woman was freely sharing how difficult it was conceiving and the other woman was sharing how she was in the midst of it all as well. Yall know I talk to anybody so I jumped in and we all spent about 20 minutes in the bathroom discussing the trials of infertility and how it has the power to break you down if you let it.
We never shared our names.
There was no discussion of following up with the other later.
We were just three women in our own journey with infertility sharing.
Here we had a woman in the beginning of her struggles with infertility.A woman who was successful and hoping to continue growing her family.
And a woman who has moved past the drugs and procedures and is stacking her paper for surrogacy.
And it struck me how this should have been odd and yet...it has become quite commonplace I feel.
At least for me.
I went back up to my meeting and did what I had to do. I was fine. I AM FINE. Perfectly fine. And old boy still trips over his tongue every.single.time I look his way. LOL!
I don't talk much about infertility anymore because I don't really have much more to say regarding. We have our plan and we will implement it. The thought of it is always with me and, once a month, it hurts like hell.
If you are still in the journey of it I hope you're in a good place. I know sometimes it hurts but please know that you have plenty of us here to with you in support of your struggles. I have kept my promise of answering every query I get regarding and always will.
You are NOT alone. Just wanted to remind yall that I'm still here in this and I'm still not letting it ruin my life.
Love,
Monnie
